


Go Home You're Drunk

by orangecreme



Series: Drabbles [5]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Dirk can not take a joke, Drunkenness, Gen, Occasional swearing, Rose is mentioned, Roxy is fun, Taxi Cab
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-30
Updated: 2015-04-30
Packaged: 2018-03-26 10:26:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 942
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3847462
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orangecreme/pseuds/orangecreme
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hot anime nerd that is actually a surprisingly nice guy?<br/>Yeah. There's no way he isn't gay.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Go Home You're Drunk

**Author's Note:**

> The idea is:  
> "how the hell do i keep managing to get you as my cab driver au"

You walk out of your friend's house and look for the closest cab, waving your hand with a large smile and saying, "Heeeey."

The taxi drives over to you and you climb into the back, saying, "Thanks for picking me up."

You sit down and look at the tanned driver with spiky dark blonde hair. You lean forward to get a better look, soon you're half way in the front seat and the guy has scooted in his seat so he can lean away from you, "Holy shit, you're that guy!"

"Get out of my face, sit back, and buckle up please," he says, triangle shaped shades blocking nearly half his face. Haa, weird hot anime nerd guy.

You sit back with an "oof" and buckle up, smiling as you ask, "Hooow do I always get you as a driver?"

"Why are you always drunk," He says evenly and you are struck a little bit. "Not that I'm judging you or anything. I don't mean to pry."

You lean forward a bit, saying, "I'm not drunk this time!"

He looks back at you, an eyebrow raised above his shades. You wonder what face he would make if you kissed him. "Fiine," you sigh, "I'm a little tipsy, but it's not even that bad! I am totally in control right now!"

He looks forward without comment and asks, "So where do you want to go this time?"

You smile and say, "Hmmmm. Pumpkin Avenue, right past Cotton Candy Lane, in Can town USA."

"First of all, you've used all of those in every possible way," the driver says, "Second off, I'm taking you to my place."

"Whoa, whoa," you say as the car starts moving, "This is uh, moving fast?"

"No. We are going the speed limit." You lean forward punch him, it's more like a tap really, on the shoulder and he says, "Sit back please."

"I don't know what idea you have of me, but I am not the type of person to fuck any person just because I'm drunk," you're a little mad. He may be hot as shit but you _will not_ have people spreading rumors.

He pulls over, stops the car, and turns back to you. Looking at you just over the edge of his weird shades. You still can't see the color of his eyes, and you can feel the tension in the air, "I am not the type of person to try to fuck someone who is inebriated. I may be an asshole, but I do have morals."

He stares at you for a little longer before turning back around and driving again. It's silent and you have slight emotional whiplash because the tension in the air instantly vanished when he turned around. You quietly say, "We don't need to go to your place, seriously."

"No, we do, you're ridiculously drunk."

You start laughing because you are no where near being smashed or anything like that, "I was joking about the directions man!"

"Yeah well, I'd rather not take that risk," the guy says.

You try to come up with a come back, but only offended noises comes out before you finally say, " _Come on_!"

"You seem to be the type of person who accidentally attracts trouble," he says bluntly.

You lift a hand, "I-"

"Okay you're kinda right," you mutter, frowning, "God damn it."

"That's why I try to make sure to pick you up if I see you," he says.

You blink a few times and say, "So you are a nice guy."

He huffs and you swear you see a smile in the rear view mirror for a second, and god damn that is an attractive as fuck smile. "Why are you so attractive, it should be illegal to be that attractive," you mutter, blushing.

"You're pretty attractive too," he says evenly. Something pings in your mind, but you ignore it.

"So you are hitting on me then?"

"Nope, sorry," he says, "In a committed relationship."

You definitely notice something and, "Oh my god, you're gay, aren't you?"

The car stops because of a red light and he looks at you through the rear view mirror, "What, just because I don't want to cheat?"

You laugh as he takes off again, "No, my gaydar has just being going off for a while."

He shakes his head a little bit and says, "My sexuality doesn't really matter."

You shrug, "True, either way, a hot guy is already taken and possibly attracted to guys. Seems like my type of luck."

The car pulls over to the sidewalk. You're nervous to ask if it's really his place when turns back and says, "This is your stop. Even though you're only 'a little drunk'," he quotes it with his fingers, "that doesn't mean anything and you just need to get into your house and probably go to bed. Also, make sure you lock your door."

You look out the car window and see that you are at your house, "Hooow?"

"You've brought a friend or sibling or something occasionally and I got your actual address," he says.

You nod slowly and dig though your purse, "How much?"

"It's free," he says, "Just go home already."

You look up, "But!"

He turns back, with a smirk on his face, "Goodnight."

You gap at him for a while, and he says, "Ask Rose for my number if you want to talk. Name's Dirk by the way."

"I'm Roxy," you say, not really knowing what else to do.

"I know, you've said that a lot." You blush and get out of the car before all of your pride is gone.


End file.
